Newsletter Issues
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Hello Eagles! We wanted to reach out as we have been tracking the latest viral “danger” called the “Momo Challenge” as it exploded back into the media scene last week. With this Special Edition of the Eagle Counseling Newsletter, we would like to break down the information into what we feel might be helpful for families. Below is a link to a news article being posted and shared by several local police departments and news media outlets. (NOTE: This video is not recommended for children as it shows the disturbing photo of “Momo” which is actually a statue from a Japanese Horror-Film Festival. Someone snapped a photo of it and started the “Momo Challenge.”) Students are also talking and asking about it, so we wanted to address social media use in general in a way which opens communication between students and their families. While we do not wish to add to the intrigue and myth of this or other “challenges,” we also know it is already circulating and desire to aid parents and students in filtering such information. Here is a great article to help parents guide their kids in avoiding, sharing, and discussing such things since they will inevitably continue to pop up as they have in the past like the Blue Whale Challenge, Slenderman, and others. We also wanted to include in this issue a couple of great posts from our friend KL Greer who spoke previously at POPCS about online safety. In one video, she shares a very important strategy, “I tell my kids they will never ever be in trouble for telling me about something they have seen or heard on the internet.” This is a challenge, but she has a point. In order to foster conversation, trust, and openness with our children, we must also provide a space they can feel safe to share their thoughts, feelings, and worries without fear of parents reacting versus responding, yelling, or freaking out. We may feel all of those things, but our reactions may come at the price of our kids sharing things with us. It can be a conversation rather than an interrogation. Regardless of what the next internet buzz is, this is yet another opportunity for us to encourage you as parents to talk with your students, the little ones all the way up to the big ones, about their online activity and how to be safe while still utilizing technology. You must know what your kids are doing and seeing online as the world will not provide a filter for them. We do not need to panic at every “challenge” that comes our way, but we do need our children to feel able to share what they are seeing and doing. This ties in with the article “Why Social Media is Not Smart for Middle School Kids” by Victoria L. Dunckley, M.D. we included last month in Eagle Counseling Newsletter Issue 4: Building Healthy Relationships which you can view here.
We hope this information sparks some good conversations in your homes, and we pray God’s blessings on your week!
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Building healthy relationships must be an intentional practice at every age level, and parents are pivotal in both modeling healthy relationships and teaching their children relational skills with the people in their lives. The resources below give a variety of strategies to practice with children of different ages to foster strong connections within families and other relationships. This past Monday, Keith and Sara Davis from Just Say YES: Youth Equipped to Succeed presented to Prince of Peace Middle School and Upper School students about building healthy relationships. They shared wisdom they’ve gained over their course of their lives about how to treat each other within the context and understanding that we are each unique and valuable because God made us. Regardless of the circumstances we’ve been handed in life, we can choose our own path toward the future we envision for ourselves and future children. They inspired students to remain strong in their commitments and stand up for themselves when tempted to compromise who they are and the goals they’ve set for themselves. Students were encouraged to see themselves as God’s beautiful creations worthy of being treated well and capable of treating others well. Below is their promotional video as well as a link to more information about them. Early Childhood RelationshipsThis weekend, my daughter and I argued about dinner. She said she wanted corn and chicken nuggets, but instead fed both to the dogs via flinging it from her spoon. I tried to calmly explain all the things that you explain to a child in this scenario: it is wasteful to ask for food that you aren’t going to eat, the dogs have their own food and shouldn’t eat ours, and she would be hungry later since she wasn’t eating during meal time. My daughter’s response was much less reasonable. She cried and pointed at the pantry asking for “more please” “more please” over and over. You see, my daughter doesn’t turn two until May, and while I want to say she’s just lacked the logic and wisdom to understand the situation, I also lacked quite a bit of logic trying to explain the above concepts to a hungry and tired toddler. I won’t admit here that I was also hungry and tired, but I’m sure you can imagine that two hangry people trying to negotiate dinner time didn’t end happily. While it was important to teach her those things, it was also important in that moment to understand the bigger picture that toddlers have limitations on their communication skills, self-awareness, and understanding of consequences that frustrates both them and the people around them. Later in the evening, my husband and I talked about it, and I realized that like any person, our daughter is allowed to get frustrated. Fostering a positive relationship with our daughter must account for all of her emotions, and our parenting must help her navigate healthy responses for her feelings. She doesn’t know yet what to do with her frustration, sadness, loneliness, or hangry-ness, and if we’re being honest, sometimes neither do I. The following two articles from Scholastic and Zero to Three outline some simple, helpful ways to help toddlers build positive relationships with people in their lives including parents and peers, and they include easy to implement tips on navigating difficult emotions.
Young Adolescent Relationships In her first post for Collin County Moms Blog, Prince of Peace High School Teacher, Ashley Ashcraft, opens her heart about sharing our failures with our kids. She poses some tough questions for us as parents: Do we ever make our kids feel like we never make mistakes, so they shouldn’t either? How can we help our kids feel safe to be transparent with us about their failures? How can we be honest with them without glamorizing our mistakes? Her blog post provides encouragement for parents as we navigate the difficulties of our children’s mistakes. I’ll be honest. Reading through Ashley’s post hit me right between the eyes on a number of levels. Stars dancing, room spinning, the whole bit. Flashbacks to my own childhood and how my parents demonstrated that level of patience and restraint, I sometimes still do not know how. More recently how my wife and I had a similar breakthrough with our older son who had missed his nap, was not feeling good, and chose not to eat enough for lunch at school (the perfect storm). As my frustration grew with defiance and lack of listening, my wife paused and looked at him and asked, “Do you just need a hug?” Then to my astonishment, my son melted into my wife’s arms. He then promptly walked over to me, gave me a big hug, apologized for not listening, and said that he would listen. I then promptly apologized to him for not being a better listener, we had several more bear hugs, which then turned into a tickle-fight, and ended in gut-busting laughter. But it was not just the correlation to my 4 year old, and how I could definitely do a lot more listening through the discipline when he steals his brother’s toy, pushes him over, etc., this is also what we see every day in the classroom and counseling office. The wonderful and challenging years of lower school are the beginning of the flux that continues on into Middle and High School, College, and often into adulthood of “fitting in while standing out.” For my fourth grade self, it was having the same Adidas jacket as everyone else to be like the cool kid in my class, who turned out to be the bully. We as humans and God’s children follow the code of Creation when God said “It is not good for man to be alone," and so we try very hard to fit in, sometimes at the expense of listening to others, or hearing versus listening, and we do it with our spouses, kids, coworkers, etc., and our kids reflect us, as the saying goes about the tree and the apple. If we model it to our kids at home and at school, they have a much higher chance not only of success, but of being the gracious children of God we pray they will be every day. And I know I certainly need Grace on a daily basis. Sharing Mistakes & Failures With My Kids |
A Blended Family Holiday | A Good Problem to Have: |
Stress Management as a Family
When students talk to us about things that stress them out, we always ask them if they’ve talked to their parents about it. After all, parents are their number one supporters, right? The responses we get most often are, “No, they are too busy.” “They have their own stress to deal with.” “I never see them because they have a lot going on.” I don’t tell you that to make you feel guilty because I don’t know that those statements are an accurate representation of your family. Instead, many times, they are a child’s perception of the truth. I remember growing up and hearing about my parents’ work stress at the dinner table. When I had the opportunity to work as a helper at my mom’s office one summer in high school, I got to experience first hand the complaints I had been hearing about. How do we balance sharing our day to day experiences with students while still conveying that we still have plenty of time and mental/emotional capacity to hear our children’s concerns? I tell students all the time that becoming a parent means your strength doubles. You not only continue to carry your own junk, but God enables you to carry anything your children have going on too. That’s part of our calling and while it’s certainly taxing at times, we’d rather know than be left in the dark. Below are two articles from the American Psychological Association about managing stress and holiday stress and a video describing the most important issue facing kids today: stress.
“Thank You, God” A Skit Guys Video
When I was first introduced to this video by a friend and fellow teacher, I was excited because there was a Skit Guys video that I had not seen, which is rare. However, as it played I was hit by two things: the first was a feeling of surprise at how many of those situations have been a part of my life over the years and how it helped me to “take stock” of those memories a little. But the second thing that struck me was the responses of those individuals in their various situations, and how faith shaped their attitude and their answer to life’s problems. I can honestly say that my responses were not the same as theirs, but I hope they would be more like them at this point in my faith and life.
Each shared a faith and hope, a sense of humility and gratefulness in their individual circumstances. But be it bills, job loss, or cancer, they gave thanks for God’s provision, hope, and faithfulness despite their situations. I give thanks that we have a God who loves us and is Gracious with His responses even when we are not with ours. Like He shares with us in 1 Thessalonians 5:15-22, He says “See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise prophecies, but test everything; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil.”
Our hope for you this holiday season is that no matter your situation(s), the Lord will show you and remind you of the good in your life. Sometimes it is the big things like a new job, a new home, a child, but these are gifts that are not always a part of the story for everyone. Joy may also be found in the simple things: a kind word from a friend or even stranger, having a family, even if it is composed of friends, a hug, a smile, or even time. Whatever the case, may you find Joy this season as we once again celebrate friends, family, and the Gift of Christ Jesus!
Click below for Scripture Verses on Giving Thanks.
Each shared a faith and hope, a sense of humility and gratefulness in their individual circumstances. But be it bills, job loss, or cancer, they gave thanks for God’s provision, hope, and faithfulness despite their situations. I give thanks that we have a God who loves us and is Gracious with His responses even when we are not with ours. Like He shares with us in 1 Thessalonians 5:15-22, He says “See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise prophecies, but test everything; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil.”
Our hope for you this holiday season is that no matter your situation(s), the Lord will show you and remind you of the good in your life. Sometimes it is the big things like a new job, a new home, a child, but these are gifts that are not always a part of the story for everyone. Joy may also be found in the simple things: a kind word from a friend or even stranger, having a family, even if it is composed of friends, a hug, a smile, or even time. Whatever the case, may you find Joy this season as we once again celebrate friends, family, and the Gift of Christ Jesus!
Click below for Scripture Verses on Giving Thanks.
Finding Interdependence: Healthy Relationships Within a Family
Developing healthy relationships can be a tall order, and as I have found over the years both personally and professionally, this is never more evident than during the holidays. Whether we are surrounded by family and friends (maybe a little too closely), or are battling loss, absence or distance of loved ones, our relational gaps come more closely into view as we have a little more time to think or reminisce, or maybe keep ourselves busy and preoccupied so we do not have to. However, it makes me sad when it is echoed throughout our culture how we should all do our own thing because the pinnacle of health is Independence. Our culture, like many others, touts the importance of independence, and this permeates even to the level of our families.
To better understand this, we look at this as more of a spectrum. On the one side is independence, which has healthy elements as well as unhealthy such as isolation, selfishness, and narcissism. On the other end of the spectrum is codependence, and while not all bad, has other unhealthy balances like a loss of self, inability to think or act on one’s own, and self-consciousness. In the middle of the spectrum, shining like a beacon, is both the balance and the original design to relationships: Interdependence. This is where two or more people are dependent on each other, but for the purpose of helping. Some might argue that they “need to be independent, that’s not healthy!,” or call it codependency, but in this case all parties are contributing equally. This definition does not work for children because they journey through lessening levels of dependency to one of the other three, hopefully interdependence. We see examples of interdependence everyday without always realizing it: a manager and their employees, a husband and wife, or a teacher and students for example. All work together equally in the healthiest versions of themselves and share responsibility when things are going well and otherwise. When we look at the original design of relationships, we see two examples: first, God created the first man Adam out of dust so that He might have someone to love and to enjoy and appreciate all that He had created. Second, God created Eve out of Adam’s rib because God said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” Both of these relationship models were created by God as examples to us, and even though we do not always like the idea of being fully dependent on someone, which is maybe why we ultimately rebel against the idea in the first place, we are at our best when we fully rely and depend on God. He gave us each other, not just spouses, or children, family or friends, but all people, so that we might love and depend on each other all as God’s children.
In our experience, the concept and practice of interdependence is more of a “simmer” mindset than a "flash boil," so this is a subject we will keep revisiting. An encouragement as you explore interdependence in the articles below would be this: yes, it takes more time, effort, patience, and the list goes on. Interdependence is messy. But life is already messy as it is, and it is much richer, stronger, and fuller when we work, live, laugh, love, cry, strive and fight shoulder to shoulder, hand in hand.
For some ideas on what it means or might look like, here are a couple of articles as you look into what interdependence might look like for you:
To better understand this, we look at this as more of a spectrum. On the one side is independence, which has healthy elements as well as unhealthy such as isolation, selfishness, and narcissism. On the other end of the spectrum is codependence, and while not all bad, has other unhealthy balances like a loss of self, inability to think or act on one’s own, and self-consciousness. In the middle of the spectrum, shining like a beacon, is both the balance and the original design to relationships: Interdependence. This is where two or more people are dependent on each other, but for the purpose of helping. Some might argue that they “need to be independent, that’s not healthy!,” or call it codependency, but in this case all parties are contributing equally. This definition does not work for children because they journey through lessening levels of dependency to one of the other three, hopefully interdependence. We see examples of interdependence everyday without always realizing it: a manager and their employees, a husband and wife, or a teacher and students for example. All work together equally in the healthiest versions of themselves and share responsibility when things are going well and otherwise. When we look at the original design of relationships, we see two examples: first, God created the first man Adam out of dust so that He might have someone to love and to enjoy and appreciate all that He had created. Second, God created Eve out of Adam’s rib because God said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” Both of these relationship models were created by God as examples to us, and even though we do not always like the idea of being fully dependent on someone, which is maybe why we ultimately rebel against the idea in the first place, we are at our best when we fully rely and depend on God. He gave us each other, not just spouses, or children, family or friends, but all people, so that we might love and depend on each other all as God’s children.
In our experience, the concept and practice of interdependence is more of a “simmer” mindset than a "flash boil," so this is a subject we will keep revisiting. An encouragement as you explore interdependence in the articles below would be this: yes, it takes more time, effort, patience, and the list goes on. Interdependence is messy. But life is already messy as it is, and it is much richer, stronger, and fuller when we work, live, laugh, love, cry, strive and fight shoulder to shoulder, hand in hand.
For some ideas on what it means or might look like, here are a couple of articles as you look into what interdependence might look like for you:
Interdependence Day(s): | How to Balance Interdependence with Autonomy to Achieve Happiness at Home |
Grief: sometimes it’s ugly, sometimes it’s loud, sometimes it’s quiet, sometimes it overstays its welcome and you can’t figure out how to quite shake it. Unfortunately in this world, grief will affect all of us at some point. Our goal in this issue of Eagle Counseling Newsletter is to give you some insights about grief to help yourself and your loved ones if and when it comes time for you to mourn.
Starting the Conversation
Many of us don’t know how to start the conversation with someone who is mourning, but often asking, “How are you? What can I do for you?” gives the person the opportunity to see that you are there for them and communicate their needs if they have any. Offering a simple, “I’m sorry for your loss,” or “so and so will be very missed,” may seem like you aren’t saying enough, but less can be more in the case of grief. Everyone is different, but when I am mourning, statements that try to make me see the silver lining actually make me more angry and sad about what I’ve lost. For me, “at least you still have so and so” or “at least they died peacefully” minimizes the loss I’ve faced and communicates that the speaker would like my grief to be over so they aren’t so uncomfortable. But grief is uncomfortable. It may be hard for you as a friend or loved one to watch someone mourn, but they need you to be okay with them mourning however is needed.
What can I do?
For those of us who are “doers,” sometimes there isn’t anything we can do, and it’s time to just be present with the person. They may need space and a listening ear to say what they are thinking, even if it is ugly, dark, or nonsensical. They may not want to cry, and that’s okay. They may not be able to stop crying, and that’s okay. There is a time to help a person continue with life as usual, and there is a time to cut them some slack. Offering to take care of basic needs like food, transportation, laundry, etc. helps them stay focused on the bigger tasks at hand because the little things are taken care of.
When do I get help?
Generally speaking, and again, everyone is different, we begin to worry that grief is too overwhelming for someone and they need to seek a mental health professional if grief consumes them entirely, and they are unable to function either all or most of the time. This may happen right away, or it may build up over time. Checking in periodically with someone experiencing grief, even months later, gives them opportunity to communicate their needs and emotions. The biggest help you can offer someone is the space for them to be honest about their emotions even if it is uncomfortable for you. If you feel that someone may need more help than you can offer, do not hesitate to be honest with them that they should seek professional help. Have some resources available so they do not have to look far for help, and follow up with them to see if they found someone to talk to.
What if we all lost the same person?
Everyone in the family is going to mourn differently, but grieving together can build strength and demonstrate your family’s resilience. Parents grieving in front of children, while it can make children worry, also communicates that it is okay to be sad and miss that person. “Holding it together for the kids” can actually backfire and cause children to feel like they need to hold it together for their parents. Allowing children to see you grieve in a healthy way, gives you all opportunity to lean into each other for strength. This must come with conversation, however, and children need to hear you communicate hope in your grief at some point. If you are struggling in your own grief, seek professional help before you become overwhelmed to the point where your grief affects your ability to function.
This is just a snapshot learning to mourn in a healthy way, and below we’ve provided some resources for you to learn more about grief and how it may affects your family. If you have any questions or if we can help you in a specific way, please let us know.
Starting the Conversation
Many of us don’t know how to start the conversation with someone who is mourning, but often asking, “How are you? What can I do for you?” gives the person the opportunity to see that you are there for them and communicate their needs if they have any. Offering a simple, “I’m sorry for your loss,” or “so and so will be very missed,” may seem like you aren’t saying enough, but less can be more in the case of grief. Everyone is different, but when I am mourning, statements that try to make me see the silver lining actually make me more angry and sad about what I’ve lost. For me, “at least you still have so and so” or “at least they died peacefully” minimizes the loss I’ve faced and communicates that the speaker would like my grief to be over so they aren’t so uncomfortable. But grief is uncomfortable. It may be hard for you as a friend or loved one to watch someone mourn, but they need you to be okay with them mourning however is needed.
What can I do?
For those of us who are “doers,” sometimes there isn’t anything we can do, and it’s time to just be present with the person. They may need space and a listening ear to say what they are thinking, even if it is ugly, dark, or nonsensical. They may not want to cry, and that’s okay. They may not be able to stop crying, and that’s okay. There is a time to help a person continue with life as usual, and there is a time to cut them some slack. Offering to take care of basic needs like food, transportation, laundry, etc. helps them stay focused on the bigger tasks at hand because the little things are taken care of.
When do I get help?
Generally speaking, and again, everyone is different, we begin to worry that grief is too overwhelming for someone and they need to seek a mental health professional if grief consumes them entirely, and they are unable to function either all or most of the time. This may happen right away, or it may build up over time. Checking in periodically with someone experiencing grief, even months later, gives them opportunity to communicate their needs and emotions. The biggest help you can offer someone is the space for them to be honest about their emotions even if it is uncomfortable for you. If you feel that someone may need more help than you can offer, do not hesitate to be honest with them that they should seek professional help. Have some resources available so they do not have to look far for help, and follow up with them to see if they found someone to talk to.
What if we all lost the same person?
Everyone in the family is going to mourn differently, but grieving together can build strength and demonstrate your family’s resilience. Parents grieving in front of children, while it can make children worry, also communicates that it is okay to be sad and miss that person. “Holding it together for the kids” can actually backfire and cause children to feel like they need to hold it together for their parents. Allowing children to see you grieve in a healthy way, gives you all opportunity to lean into each other for strength. This must come with conversation, however, and children need to hear you communicate hope in your grief at some point. If you are struggling in your own grief, seek professional help before you become overwhelmed to the point where your grief affects your ability to function.
This is just a snapshot learning to mourn in a healthy way, and below we’ve provided some resources for you to learn more about grief and how it may affects your family. If you have any questions or if we can help you in a specific way, please let us know.
What does God say about death?
Phil Taylor, a well-loved coach and role model at Prince of Peace Christian School died on September 25th, 2018 after a long battle against cancer. Our whole community felt the shudder, and many of us are left wondering what to say in the wake of losing someone who was such an influence in the life of so many of our students. Micah Miller, Pastor at Prince of Peace Lutheran Church and father of two of Coach Taylor’s football players, spoke some needed truth at Phil’s Memorial Service held at Prince of Peace Lutheran Church on October 1, 2018. Pastors are often called upon to deliver wisdom in the most tragic of circumstances, and to that, Pastor Micah opens his message with this profound statement, “Apart from the words of Jesus, I have nothing to say. Because there’s nothing I can say to you that will comfort you. There’s nothing I can say that’s from me that will give you any hope. So I pray that the words of Jesus will be the source of your strength and your comfort.” Pastor goes on to ask some tough questions that maybe we’re asking too, “Why God? Why now? Why Phil? Why cancer? Why at 25? Why at this stage of his life when he’s making such a difference in the lives of so many people? Why God?” While we don’t get to know all the answers, Pastor Micah shares the hope-filled words of Jesus and the promise of eternal life that Phil embodied during his earthly life. Phil had hope, and that hope came from the only source of true, tireless, unending, and eternal hope found in Jesus’s death and resurrection.
Common Myths about Grief
| In the face of grief, many people resort to cliche sayings or rely on our assumptions about grief to help ourselves or the people around us cope. How many of our current beliefs about grief are actually myths? Marylin A. Mendoza, Ph.D., author of Understanding Grief: The Many Facets of Bereavement, gives insight to five common myths about grief to help us better understand ourselves and our loved ones as they mourn. If you find yourself often putting your foot in your mouth when it comes to grief, her guidance will steer you in the right direction. |  |
“The Mourning Booth”
“The Mourning Booth,” as performed by The Skit Guys is a beautiful portrayal of the complicated process of grieving. Grief has many faces and no timeline, and we are all touched by its pain at different points throughout our lives. Whether you are seated in the midst of mourning, or coming alongside someone who is hurting, we see the great need for understanding, empathy, and compassion for such times as these. Reminding ourselves of this as well as giving these tools to our children are a vital part of the process. But most importantly, we cannot forget the power of “just being there,” and how by simply spending time sitting with someone who is grieving, we can bring a little bit of healing and peace.
Grieving by Developmental Stages
Death and grieving are a part of our lives, and while many have said “It’s a part of life,” or “it’s how it’s always been,” these statements simply are not true. There is nothing natural about death because it was never intended to be a part of God’s original design for life. We are left with its consequences though, and we must deal with the wake of its aftermath. As Esther R. Shapiro puts it in her book Grief as a Family Process: A Developmental Approach to Clinical Practice, “When someone we love dies, we are forced to rebuild both our shattered web of life-sustaining relationships and our shattered assumptions.” These truths are true no matter how old we are, and when it comes to our children and students, we sometimes struggle to know how to help them understand or cope with loss and grief.
Last spring my in-law's Golden Retriever died, and it was the first time my now 4 year-old had experienced the sting of death. I was very grateful for Mr. Rogers and Daniel Tiger in those moments, as they had both just been on the day before, and both episodes were about a fish that died. My own understanding of death has more layers and complexities to it when I think about the future without her, how it will affect the family, etc. I also see it with a permanency whereas he sees it as a temporary problem easily fixed by simply “digging her up.” Understanding our children’s developmental capacity for processing information and events like death, dying, and grieving can help us as we relate to them and guide them through it. Included below is a breakdown of what we can generally expect to see in terms of reaction, understanding, processing and conversations with them based on their age/developmental stage. These are of course generalizations, but they are helpful all the same.
Last spring my in-law's Golden Retriever died, and it was the first time my now 4 year-old had experienced the sting of death. I was very grateful for Mr. Rogers and Daniel Tiger in those moments, as they had both just been on the day before, and both episodes were about a fish that died. My own understanding of death has more layers and complexities to it when I think about the future without her, how it will affect the family, etc. I also see it with a permanency whereas he sees it as a temporary problem easily fixed by simply “digging her up.” Understanding our children’s developmental capacity for processing information and events like death, dying, and grieving can help us as we relate to them and guide them through it. Included below is a breakdown of what we can generally expect to see in terms of reaction, understanding, processing and conversations with them based on their age/developmental stage. These are of course generalizations, but they are helpful all the same.
Is my kid okay?
This is a question parents ask themselves often, but we might not always know how to find the answer. The resources in this inaugural issue of the Eagle Counseling Newsletter seek to help parents recognize signs of emotional and mental distress within their children. In our office, we see a variety of students and parents trying to navigate through some messy situations. This side of heaven, we live in a world of brokenness. Many parents are simply seeking the answer to the question, "Is my kid okay?" And honestly, sometimes students are asking themselves, "Am I okay?" We want you to know that it's okay to not be okay. It's okay for your families to not be okay. In fact, being "not okay" can be more normal than being normal some days.
We're here to help.
God doesn't leave us to fend for ourselves but calls us to lift each other up. We hope this newsletter puts a few tools at your fingertips and opens some doors for both parents and students to have tough, but necessary conversations. Parents are often a child’s biggest allies, mentors, and protectors, and we hope these resources help equip you for the high calling of parenthood. Please let us know how we can help you and your family.
-Michelle Dwyer and Gary Prindiville
This is a question parents ask themselves often, but we might not always know how to find the answer. The resources in this inaugural issue of the Eagle Counseling Newsletter seek to help parents recognize signs of emotional and mental distress within their children. In our office, we see a variety of students and parents trying to navigate through some messy situations. This side of heaven, we live in a world of brokenness. Many parents are simply seeking the answer to the question, "Is my kid okay?" And honestly, sometimes students are asking themselves, "Am I okay?" We want you to know that it's okay to not be okay. It's okay for your families to not be okay. In fact, being "not okay" can be more normal than being normal some days.
We're here to help.
God doesn't leave us to fend for ourselves but calls us to lift each other up. We hope this newsletter puts a few tools at your fingertips and opens some doors for both parents and students to have tough, but necessary conversations. Parents are often a child’s biggest allies, mentors, and protectors, and we hope these resources help equip you for the high calling of parenthood. Please let us know how we can help you and your family.
-Michelle Dwyer and Gary Prindiville
"God Only Knows" by For King & Country
This music video from Australian artists For King & Country provides a glimpse of how often we pass people every day who look like they “have it all together,” or are at least “fine,” when they are hurting deeply and crying out for help. We can save lives every day by starting that difficult talk with those around us with a simple, “How are you today, really?” This requires that we slow down our daily grind a little to love and care for those around us. We never know who might really need that question today.
At the end of the video you will find the number for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. If you or someone you know might need to talk, the toll-free number is 1 (800) 273-8255. They also offer a free online chat option at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.
About For King & Country: "For King and Country" was the battle cry of English soldiers willing to lay down their lives for their king and their country. And now it has become our mission, to lay down our lives for our King and our country."
At the end of the video you will find the number for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. If you or someone you know might need to talk, the toll-free number is 1 (800) 273-8255. They also offer a free online chat option at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.
About For King & Country: "For King and Country" was the battle cry of English soldiers willing to lay down their lives for their king and their country. And now it has become our mission, to lay down our lives for our King and our country."
Erika's Lighthouse
This website provides valuable information for adolescents and their families concerned about mental and emotional well-being. Resources include a Teen Depression Toolbox, interview videos, coping techniques, treatment options, and information to help shed light in the darkness of mental illness.
"We educate communities about teen depression,
eliminate the stigma associated with mental illness
and empower teens to take charge of their mental health."
-Erika's Lighthouse
eliminate the stigma associated with mental illness
and empower teens to take charge of their mental health."
-Erika's Lighthouse
Can we talk about the "S" word? Suicide.
This article describes the story of a pastor who opened the doors to talk about depression and suicide, including his own struggles, in his California church. While the story does end tragically, we can read and learn from his living example and God’s Word for us when we struggle. We are all “messes,” and as we say at Prince of Peace with joy and determination, “Ministry is messy.” Let’s stop pretending and start the conversation.
Give Your Kid A Chance
While technology and screen time are taking a lot of hits lately in the world of mental health, and perhaps rightly so, the silver lining is that it can provide our children with a “way out” of difficult situations. Provided here are links to two resources. The first is called the “NotOk” App, which provides a way for a child (or adult) to send a message directly to emergency contacts, including GPS location, if they are in a situation they need to get out of quickly. The second is an idea featured here on People.com an “everyday Dad” came up with, which is similar in nature, but simply requires texting “X” to their emergency contacts. Both provide a safe way for kids to stay safe, whether they’re dealing with peer pressure, a dangerous situation, or even contemplating self-harm.
Self-Harm: Is my kid at risk?
What's the deal with self-harm? Is my kid at risk? The answer might be yes. This website provides valuable information about self-harm including the reasons why many people choose this unhealthy coping mechanism for pain, and how to help someone who is struggling. Understanding risk factors that may be affecting your child will help you be better equipped for recognizing signs that something just isn’t right. This website also provides definitions of self-harm and red flag warning signs that someone may be self-harming, even if they are hiding it in plain sight.
