Issue 12: A Time to Mourn, A Time to Dance

Greetings Eagles!!!
  Here we are at the end of another school year, with summer at our feet and a deep breath on the horizon.  Yet, as we come to yet another close, it feels more like someone pulled the rug out and left me gasping for air on the ground than inspiring that fresh air of freedom.  Final Zooms and Chapels, while wonderful, serve as a reminder that things are very different at the moment.  The closure that a hug or an end-of-the-year “high five” might normally offer are gone, and the chances to cram together to celebrate our students’ achievements have changed.  
   Change.  Change can be a great and much needed opportunity for growth or renewal.  Change can usher in uncertainty or halt progress altogether.  Change is inevitable, and it’s here, or rather always has been.  This time has felt like a curse to some, and a blessing to others, and just plain strange for all.  As I have been trying to process these changes that COVID-19 has brought about, I have tried to focus on the positives as well as acknowledge the negatives.  And in doing so I have been visited by an old friend, and his name is “Grief.”  
   I was taught by one of my wisest mentors that “Grief has many faces, and absolutely no timeline or rules.”  We can grieve for the loss of a pet or loved one or of a job or possession.  Some event that happened to us or someone close, or even the fact that something we thought would happen  but did not can lead us to Grief.  Grief itself is not the enemy here but as I shared, like an old friend because grief helps bring clarity to our lives with time.  
   In Ecclesiastes 3: 1 - 8, we are reminded that “For everything there is a season...a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.”  I have heard this shared at funerals, national tragedies, and world disasters.  It is important to mourn and grieve for what was not, and to give our children permission to do the same, but I have always paid more attention to “laugh” and “dance.”  There can and should be Hope and Joy, if not now, then shortly on the horizon because change is coming.  
   So we hope that this edition of the Eagle Counseling Newsletter helps you and ultimately your children grieve well and celebrate the growth through change that is happening now.  This is a time for grace, for making a “big deal” of the little and big victories, and for celebrating our students and our families for the gift that they are.  Laugh and dance with them, even when it is silly or does not make sense, because being together is a great and marvelous gift.  We look forward to when we can laugh and dance with you as well, and God’s peace and joy be with you and your family.

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The Discomfort You’re Feeling is Grief
By: Scott Berinato

To help his colleagues, his readers, and ultimately himself understand how he has been processing the time of COVID-19, Senior Editor Scott Berinato shares how he has been working through the grief that these changes have brought about.  Scott not only points out the importance of allowing yourself to feel the range of emotions that it can bring, but even goes so far as to introduce a new stage of grieving: meaning, and its significance in helping us accept the changes.  He also reassures us that we do not have to face our feelings all at once, but can deal with them individually, and ultimately better. 

CLICK HERE TO READ

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How Unprocessed Trauma is Stored in the Body 
Article from Medium.com by BioBeats

Some experts are referring to the time of COVID-19 as what we call “shared trauma” in counseling terms.  Whether you agree or disagree that these past couple of months have been traumatic on a personal, country, or even world-wide level, we can all agree that these times have been stressful.  Our bodies and brains were designed in such a way that we store our experiences and stress.  Left unchecked, this can leave us pretty unhealthy.  On the other hand, by facing it and dealing with the physical results of trauma, it can help us to process the mental and ultimately recover better through things as simple as stretching and exercise.  

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COVID-19: Dealing with Our Collective Trauma
Video from WFMZ News

In this news segment from WFMZ News, Dr. Heather Evans, a licensed clinical social worker and counselor says, “What heals trauma is connection and relationship.” She goes on to describe our collective trauma during COVID-19, and some strategies to overcome and work through it together.

Click Here to Watch

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Dear Preschooler, This Was Supposed To Be Your Year Too 
By: Cassie Gottula Shaw

I’m going to be honest, having littles at home during this time has been really difficult. My 3 year old doesn’t understand why the parks aren’t open and why we can’t hug our grandparents. My 1 year old hasn’t gone down a real slide since she’s been big enough to actually do it. They can’t play with neighbors because they don’t understand social distance, and last time I let them play in the yard with the other kids, I caught both of them eating someone’s ice off the sidewalk. This blog perfectly captures how my heart hurts for my girls, and why there’s a sense of grief for what they are missing even though it’s “just preschool.” Mrs. Shaw says it perfectly,  “You’re not quite big enough to even ask all the questions going through your mind, let alone to grasp all the answers. You’re just trusting that I have the answers—that I’m handling it. And I’m trying my best for you.”

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The Pandemic Will Haunt Today’s Children Forever. 
But We Can Help Them Now.
By:  Leonardo Trasande and Benard Dreyer

This article from the Washington Post can help us understand some of how our children are and will be impacted by the time of quarantine.  “Some children will experience strong emotional reactions simply by being aware of the existential threat of COVID-19, the disease caused by the coronavirus. And others still may not even be aware of the events playing out around them but will nevertheless be affected by them.”  Especially for our teens and tweens, if we want them not only to survive, but to thrive, the solution starts at home.  How we as parents and adults posture our response will directly impact our children now and later, and we can use it for the better.

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To Heal Trauma, Work with the Body
By:  Jennifer Sweeton Psy.D.

Recently, I have discovered there seems to be an uptick in supplements and devices to fix every physical ailment you could have.  My three-year-old thinks the commercials for the mood stabilizer “CALM” are hilarious, and when he is having a tough moment, we will say “CALM…” several times slowly, he will start laughing and reset.  Maybe he is onto something here, seeing how using methods of biofeedback including forms of meditation, and I might suggest prayer, can help us restore and heal physically and mentally both during and after the pandemic.  It is important for our students and ourselves to understand that the feeling of being “on alert” is a normal part of our wiring, but it is best if we are proactive so we do not remain in that state.

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Final Thoughts...

This year did not end in a way that we could have predicted, but it’s been a pleasure and honor to serve your families. Thank you for the choice you make to be a part of the Eagle family. We appreciate you! If there’s anything that your family needs, please feel free to reach out to one of us, or to our school administration. We are here to serve you, and as always, we are in constant prayer for you. Please know that God loves you tremendously, and He’s got great plans for you. Jeremiah 29:11. - Michelle Dwyer

Something I encourage my students to do every year is to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable.”  While this sounds menacing, they learn that it just means the only way to grow is to jump beyond your comfort zone.  Thank you Prince of Peace students and families for letting us walk by your side as we all jumped out of our comfort zone and flew out stronger like the Eagles we are!  As we say in chapel, “May the Grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the Fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.” 2 Corinthians 13:14   -Gary Prindiville III