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Greetings Eagles!!! Here we are at the end of another school year, with summer at our feet and a deep breath on the horizon. Yet, as we come to yet another close, it feels more like someone pulled the rug out and left me gasping for air on the ground than inspiring that fresh air of freedom. Final Zooms and Chapels, while wonderful, serve as a reminder that things are very different at the moment. The closure that a hug or an end-of-the-year “high five” might normally offer are gone, and the chances to cram together to celebrate our students’ achievements have changed. Change. Change can be a great and much needed opportunity for growth or renewal. Change can usher in uncertainty or halt progress altogether. Change is inevitable, and it’s here, or rather always has been. This time has felt like a curse to some, and a blessing to others, and just plain strange for all. As I have been trying to process these changes that COVID-19 has brought about, I have tried to focus on the positives as well as acknowledge the negatives. And in doing so I have been visited by an old friend, and his name is “Grief.” I was taught by one of my wisest mentors that “Grief has many faces, and absolutely no timeline or rules.” We can grieve for the loss of a pet or loved one or of a job or possession. Some event that happened to us or someone close, or even the fact that something we thought would happen but did not can lead us to Grief. Grief itself is not the enemy here but as I shared, like an old friend because grief helps bring clarity to our lives with time. In Ecclesiastes 3: 1 - 8, we are reminded that “For everything there is a season...a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.” I have heard this shared at funerals, national tragedies, and world disasters. It is important to mourn and grieve for what was not, and to give our children permission to do the same, but I have always paid more attention to “laugh” and “dance.” There can and should be Hope and Joy, if not now, then shortly on the horizon because change is coming. So we hope that this edition of the Eagle Counseling Newsletter helps you and ultimately your children grieve well and celebrate the growth through change that is happening now. This is a time for grace, for making a “big deal” of the little and big victories, and for celebrating our students and our families for the gift that they are. Laugh and dance with them, even when it is silly or does not make sense, because being together is a great and marvelous gift. We look forward to when we can laugh and dance with you as well, and God’s peace and joy be with you and your family. The Discomfort You’re Feeling is Grief |
| Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World by Kristen Welch Recommended by Ashley Ashcraft - Upper School Theology Teacher My kids are blessed to have everything they need and a whole lot of what they want, but over the last year my husband and I noticed some unhealthy expectations and behaviors that bordered entitlement. I enjoyed Kristen Welch’s down to earth approach and philosophy of how she dealt with similar issues in her own family. Each chapter ends with practical ideas to cultivate gratefulness for preschool, elementary, and high school age kids. |  |
 | The Vanishing American Adult: Our Coming-of-Age Crisis--and How to Rebuild a Culture of Self-Reliance by Ben Sasse Recommended by Rebecca Weiss - Social Sciences Department Chair and Sharla Schimelpfenig - Upper School English Department Chair The Vanishing American Adult by Senator Ben Sasse of Nebraska offers practical parenting advice including challenging our children to become a meaningful part of a diversified community, to embrace a purposeful work ethic, and to value service to others. Sasse examines the emergence of a new generation that lacks grit, self-reliance, and problem-solving, all of which has resulted in their “failing to launch” as productive and responsible adults. The piece not only identifies the root causes of this new phenomena but also offers tangible ways to avoid the trend. Although Sasse is a U.S. Senator, The Vanishing American Adult veers away from politics and instead focuses on how families can cultivate virtue in their children. The necessity of this character development, according to Sasse, is important not only for our own children, but for the sake of the American republic. |
| Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay Recommended by Michelle Dwyer - School Counselor and Middle School Theology Teacher In preparation for raising a toddler this year, last summer I read Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay. While the system takes practice and intentionality, many of the core principles behind the overall concept really work with our two-year old. Cline and Fay keep their strategies simple and realistic enough that my husband and I have used them with our daughter in many public meltdown moments. I’ve found myself less resentful of discipline and more appreciative of the opportunities to help my daughter manage her choices and big emotions. I would recommend this to parents of young children, but I don’t believe that it’s ever too late to try something new especially if your old discipline and conflict management strategies aren’t working for your family anymore. |  |
CommonSenseMedia.org
Recommended by Tammy Lawson - Lower School and Middle School Computer Teacher
This website presents their mission as: "the leading independent nonprofit organization dedicated to helping kids thrive in a world of media and technology. We empower parents, teachers, and policymakers by providing unbiased information, trusted advice, and innovative tools to help them harness the power of media and technology as a positive force in all kids’ lives."
The site has tabs for Parents, Educators, and Advocates. POPCS has been using their curriculum for years in the Lower and Middle School. The Parent tab has information related to movies, video games, apps, and other technology that kids and teens use. This is not a Christian based site but I feel it is an incredibly valuable tool for parents to use as they try to navigate the constantly changing media landscape.
Recommended by Tammy Lawson - Lower School and Middle School Computer Teacher
This website presents their mission as: "the leading independent nonprofit organization dedicated to helping kids thrive in a world of media and technology. We empower parents, teachers, and policymakers by providing unbiased information, trusted advice, and innovative tools to help them harness the power of media and technology as a positive force in all kids’ lives."
The site has tabs for Parents, Educators, and Advocates. POPCS has been using their curriculum for years in the Lower and Middle School. The Parent tab has information related to movies, video games, apps, and other technology that kids and teens use. This is not a Christian based site but I feel it is an incredibly valuable tool for parents to use as they try to navigate the constantly changing media landscape.
Faith Based Resources
The Other "F" Word: When Faith Fills the Gap by Sara Stamp (POPCS parent)
Recommended by Lani Hawk - 2nd Grade Teacher
Recommended by Lani Hawk - 2nd Grade Teacher
The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian
Other books in the series: The Power of a Praying Wife and The Power of a Praying Husband by Stormie Omartian
Recommended by Kathy Moore - Preschool 2s Teacher
Other books in the series: The Power of a Praying Wife and The Power of a Praying Husband by Stormie Omartian
Recommended by Kathy Moore - Preschool 2s Teacher
Personal Growth
  | Drive by Daniel H. Pink Recommended by Lisa Chase - Middle School Science Teacher Excellent book about the differences in motivation techniques between 20th Century vs. 21st Century brains. I used this book repeatedly during grad school and I learned so much in regards to how to motivate today's student. It is written for corporate America, but very applicable for educating young people. The Shallows by Nicholas Carr Recommended by Lisa Chase - Middle School Science Teacher 24/7 internet and screen access is changing neural pathways and the way that the brain processes information. This book explains what is happening to this generation's brain development in an easily understandable way. This is not an internet bashing book! It is simply explaining to those of us who didn't grow up with the internet or at least not as much, how we must change the way we educate and train this generation. |
| David and Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell Recommended by Jeremy Lowe - Upper School Principal In a nutshell, we need to adopt different strategies to "win" in life and business. Just like David slew Goliath using non-traditional means, we can change the rules to achieve. Playing by the Giant's rules will always end in defeat, so make your disadvantage your advantage and beware the vice-versa! |  |
Leisure Reads
Hello, Universe by Erin Entrada Kelly
Recommended by Kacie Innes - Middle School English and Theology Teacher
Hello, Universe is an excellent novel for middle school families to read and discuss together. Kelly's novel follows four kids in the first days of summer after sixth grade. The 2017 Newbery Medal winner shifts perspectives in each chapter, portraying the experiences of Virgil, a Filipino American who struggles with math and feels like he lives in the shadows of his "perfect" older brothers; Valencia, an independent lover of science who is deaf and questions the existence of God; Kaori, an outgoing older sister who thinks she can predict the future but forgets to celebrate the joy of the present; and Chet, the neighborhood bully who refuses to attempt to understand anyone who is different from him. Our middle schoolers are struggling with some of the same things, from finishing math to making friends to growing in faith, and this story provides an approachable way for parents to discuss those topics with them. Kelly reveals a unique story about growing up, overcoming fears, making friends, and recognizing ignorance while also celebrating different cultures and acknowledging learning differences so students can reach their fullest potential.
Recommended by Kacie Innes - Middle School English and Theology Teacher
Hello, Universe is an excellent novel for middle school families to read and discuss together. Kelly's novel follows four kids in the first days of summer after sixth grade. The 2017 Newbery Medal winner shifts perspectives in each chapter, portraying the experiences of Virgil, a Filipino American who struggles with math and feels like he lives in the shadows of his "perfect" older brothers; Valencia, an independent lover of science who is deaf and questions the existence of God; Kaori, an outgoing older sister who thinks she can predict the future but forgets to celebrate the joy of the present; and Chet, the neighborhood bully who refuses to attempt to understand anyone who is different from him. Our middle schoolers are struggling with some of the same things, from finishing math to making friends to growing in faith, and this story provides an approachable way for parents to discuss those topics with them. Kelly reveals a unique story about growing up, overcoming fears, making friends, and recognizing ignorance while also celebrating different cultures and acknowledging learning differences so students can reach their fullest potential.
Physics for Future Presidents by Richard A. Muller
Recommended by Rick Moser - Upper School Chemistry, Physics, and Engineering Teacher
A very clear discussion (with almost zero math) about the physics reasoning supporting political decisions which will be made by future presidents - intelligent people who may not have a science background. Present and future presidents need to know if North Korea's nascent nuclear capability is a genuine threat to the West, if biochemical weapons are likely to be developed by terrorists, if there are viable alternatives to fossil fuels that should be nurtured and supported by the government, if private companies should be allowed to lead the way on space exploration, and what the actual facts are about the worsening threats from climate change. This is "must-have" information for all presidents―and citizens―of the twenty-first century.
Recommended by Rick Moser - Upper School Chemistry, Physics, and Engineering Teacher
A very clear discussion (with almost zero math) about the physics reasoning supporting political decisions which will be made by future presidents - intelligent people who may not have a science background. Present and future presidents need to know if North Korea's nascent nuclear capability is a genuine threat to the West, if biochemical weapons are likely to be developed by terrorists, if there are viable alternatives to fossil fuels that should be nurtured and supported by the government, if private companies should be allowed to lead the way on space exploration, and what the actual facts are about the worsening threats from climate change. This is "must-have" information for all presidents―and citizens―of the twenty-first century.
| The Killer Angels by Michael Shaara Recommended by Marianne Schnell - Middle School History and Language Arts Teacher Michael Shaara's character studies are rich, and the reader can almost feel the stress and strain experienced by those who endured this momentous event in history, the Battle of Gettysburg. The Killer Angels has usurped Stephen Cranes' The Red Badge of Courage as the definitive novel of the American Civil War with good reason. The vivid language will transport you to circumstances that will make you feel a wide range of emotions. What more could you ask of a novel? The Civil War by Ken Burns - Documentary Mini-Series Recommended by Marianne Schnell - Middle School History and Language Arts Teacher This unapologetic history nerd must recommend this PBS masterpiece that debuted in 1990. The entire documentary is comprised of nine episodes for a total viewing time of eleven hours and thirty minutes. Before your eyes glaze over at the prospect, try the first episode. You will be hooked. The personal letters and speeches composed by historical figures known and unknown will reel you in. You may just find you are an unapologetic history nerd, too! |   |
Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
Recommended by Colleen White, Ed.D. - Upper School English and Crossroads English Teacher
It's a wonderful book! I first read it while I lived in Germany with my family. Since then, I have read the book several times. Every time I read the book, I feel as if I am sitting on the floor in my bedroom reading it for the first time. It's truly a magical book. It's a great read for young girls in middle school.
Recommended by Colleen White, Ed.D. - Upper School English and Crossroads English Teacher
It's a wonderful book! I first read it while I lived in Germany with my family. Since then, I have read the book several times. Every time I read the book, I feel as if I am sitting on the floor in my bedroom reading it for the first time. It's truly a magical book. It's a great read for young girls in middle school.
The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats
Recommended by Colleen White, Ed.D. - Upper School English and Crossroads English Teacher
Love, Love, Love this book! I read this book all the time to children at the library. It reminds me of my youth and playing in snow. Ezra Jack Keats has a way with saying so much with so little. The pictures in the book, also, allow any person to see themselves gently playing in the angelic snow and gliding along snow-covered mounds.
Recommended by Colleen White, Ed.D. - Upper School English and Crossroads English Teacher
Love, Love, Love this book! I read this book all the time to children at the library. It reminds me of my youth and playing in snow. Ezra Jack Keats has a way with saying so much with so little. The pictures in the book, also, allow any person to see themselves gently playing in the angelic snow and gliding along snow-covered mounds.
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Nothing signals the end of the school year like the celebration of Easter and the endless Justin Timberlake Memes. This month as we start to wind down the school year, we are also ramping up to summer. Similar to New Year’s Resolutions, summer is often a time when our routines change, especially for our kids. This month, we wanted to offer some resources to help you do some “spring cleaning” of your current routines. Maybe you just need a quick spruce up, or maybe you need an overhaul. Either way, we hope you find something to help you and your family be happy and healthy. Next month will include some personal resource recommendations from our POPCS faculty as we close out our school year.
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Change the Way You Think About Yourself
Who are you when you are the best version of yourself? Do you have the mental energy to be creative? Innovative? Collaborative? Appreciative of playfulness? Do you more often find yourself caught in survival mode believing that there isn’t enough time, money, or resources? Can you tell the difference between a perceived threat to your survival versus a threat to your ego? This video from The Conscious Leadership Group challenges the way we think about situations to help us figure out how to free ourselves to enjoy the more joyful parts of life.
Locating Yourself - A Key to Conscious Leadership
By: The Conscious Leadership Group
Why Thinking You’re Ugly is Bad for You
TedTalk By: Meaghan Ramsey
“About 10,000 people a month Google the phrase, “Am I ugly?” (ted.com). This TedTalk is invaluable to us as people parenting one of the most anxious and insecure generations of kids. If you think this is just for #GirlMoms, think about how many of your sons would name a muscle-bound professional athlete as his role model. To blame social media for yet another thing, there are countless images of well-built, traditionally beautiful, virtually flawless people flooding your kids’ Instagram and Snapchat. We celebrate the perfect images and the perfect performances of athletes and entertainers, and anything less than perfect is publicly denounced. The pressure to be perfect at earlier and earlier ages cripples many students from being able to enjoy the freedoms of childhood. Kids don’t want to try because what if they fail? None of their role models fail, so perfection must be attainable. Meaghan Ramsey challenges us with this: “Right now, our culture's obsession with image is holding us all back. But let's show our kids the truth. Let's show them that the way you look is just one part of your identity and that the truth is we love them for who they are and what they do and how they make us feel.”
Change the Way You Think About Family Dinner Time
I totally nailed it last week. I made a beautiful dinner using more than one pan, and all the dishes finished at almost the same time. My two year old colored while I cooked, and a temporary peace filled the kitchen. I felt like Supermom. As I laid the plates on the table, my daughter pointed and said, “Rice!” I was excited she recognized it since that was a word she hadn’t said around me before, but then I realized why she knew it so quickly. I had just made the exact meal that we both ate at school for lunch. Chicken. Rice. Green beans. Fun fact about my daughter: she does not eat the same thing twice in one day. Our dinner dissolved into lots of “we don’t throw food,” “please just try it,” and “look mommy’s eating it” to no avail. Turns out, I didn’t nail it.
Maybe your dinners are full of good intentions and poor execution like mine. Maybe yours are okay, but not stellar and you’d like to spice them up. Or maybe you don’t eat together as a family, and you’d like to try it but don’t know where to start. Wherever you are on the spectrum, these two resources provide tips that you can implement as early as tonight. Don’t worry if you’re met with a little bit of eye rolling at first. Persevere! A lot of life is lived around a kitchen table together.
Maybe your dinners are full of good intentions and poor execution like mine. Maybe yours are okay, but not stellar and you’d like to spice them up. Or maybe you don’t eat together as a family, and you’d like to try it but don’t know where to start. Wherever you are on the spectrum, these two resources provide tips that you can implement as early as tonight. Don’t worry if you’re met with a little bit of eye rolling at first. Persevere! A lot of life is lived around a kitchen table together.
Change the Way You Run Your Week
When my fiance (now wife of almost 10 years) and I started our Pre-Marital Counseling, we sat down with our pastor to discuss our backgrounds, how we met, our relationship, struggles, and hopes. After a lot of listening he brought up some important points about the differences we would naturally have, but perhaps not know about each other. One that stuck out in both her mind and mine was when he said, “Now, Gary will probably have a routine, and that may seem strange to you. But when he wakes up in the morning, he will likely do the same things, in the same order, at around the same time, and not even know that he does it.”
In the months leading up the our marriage, I paid more attention, and even asked my roomates if they noticed this about me or themselves. We all agreed we had one thing in common: We did not have much of a routine. So I worked to develop one, even just starting with how I began my day, and with a lot of practice, I noticed a difference in both how I felt and how much I got done throughout the day. So when my wife and I got married several months later and moved into our first place together, she caught our pastor one Sunday at church and said “You were right about that routine thing.” He laughed and winked at me, almost as though he had orchestrated the whole thing. Routine was what I needed to not only relieve the scattered anxiety I usually felt, but also to bring some much needed structure to my life and my new home.
Summer is coming, and our kids feel it just as acutely as we do. I know I always start summer with this “big plan” of what we will do, where we will go, and most importantly, “The Routine.” The routine charade usually lasts about 2 ½ weeks tops before we slip into zone defense and end up just feeling like we are hanging on. So in the light of routines, this article from Today’s Parent takes on a pared down approach to simplify both your routine and your mind. Kids need it, parents crave it, and with everyone needed and engaged, a reboot of your routine could be just what you need to breathe a little easier. The article from Motherly points to science in how these simple additions or switches to your routines not only benefit your children, but also bring health to the family system as well. Since we are a little ahead of summer, now is a great time to pilot some new ideas when it comes to what is not working for you and your family.
In the months leading up the our marriage, I paid more attention, and even asked my roomates if they noticed this about me or themselves. We all agreed we had one thing in common: We did not have much of a routine. So I worked to develop one, even just starting with how I began my day, and with a lot of practice, I noticed a difference in both how I felt and how much I got done throughout the day. So when my wife and I got married several months later and moved into our first place together, she caught our pastor one Sunday at church and said “You were right about that routine thing.” He laughed and winked at me, almost as though he had orchestrated the whole thing. Routine was what I needed to not only relieve the scattered anxiety I usually felt, but also to bring some much needed structure to my life and my new home.
Summer is coming, and our kids feel it just as acutely as we do. I know I always start summer with this “big plan” of what we will do, where we will go, and most importantly, “The Routine.” The routine charade usually lasts about 2 ½ weeks tops before we slip into zone defense and end up just feeling like we are hanging on. So in the light of routines, this article from Today’s Parent takes on a pared down approach to simplify both your routine and your mind. Kids need it, parents crave it, and with everyone needed and engaged, a reboot of your routine could be just what you need to breathe a little easier. The article from Motherly points to science in how these simple additions or switches to your routines not only benefit your children, but also bring health to the family system as well. Since we are a little ahead of summer, now is a great time to pilot some new ideas when it comes to what is not working for you and your family.
How to get your family organized and on a schedule—in three steps
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It’s science: Having a routine helps your family be happier
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Change the Way You See “Happiness”
With the recent “baseball sized hail” scare that left many of us scrambling to strap rugs, sleeping bags and work out mats to the tops of our vehicles, I had a wake-up call standing in my garage: we have way too many boxes. I was shocked to see how many of our boxes we saved back from this past Christmas, and although “you never know when you will need more boxes,” it may be time for us to recycle some. But I remember vividly how on Christmas morning it was not the toys, the tricycle, or even the candy that stole the stage for my kids, it was those boxes. Forts, caves, or train stations, they became the best thing in the room for a day. Of course they played with and appreciated everything, but it reminded me that happiness is in quality time, not in things. As parents we desire for our kids to find happiness, and we hope to bring it to them as often as we can. It is easy to fall prey to “keeping up with the Joneses,” or even just keeping up with the hamster wheel in your head, but what “really” makes our kids happy? In this article from Parents, we see some tips about how sometimes what kids want is not often what they need, and how our approach to their happiness has a big impact.
7 Secrets to Raising a Happy Child
By: Marguerite Lamb
Spring has arrived and with it many exciting things on the horizon like warmer weather, Easter, and everyone’s favorite: Spring Cleaning. Okay, maybe not everyone’s favorite, but that urge to purge and start fresh can be a healthy drive to re-evaluate what stays and what goes after hunkering down for the holidays. As we finish the year with our next three editions of the Eagle Counseling Newsletter, our goal is to offer a few ideas about evaluating some things that could lead to happier and healthier students and families. In this edition, we are taking a look at the importance and power of positive language. We will focus on how this sometimes overlooked or underappreciated power within us can play a vital role in our development and well-being.
The Power of Words
In researching for this month’s edition, we stumbled across something which at first seemed bizarre, but upon a further look appears to be a curious phenomenon that has roots in words themselves. Below is a video released by IKEA, who conducted an experiment on the effects of words on plants and how they grow. While this sounds strange, it turns out that this experiment has been conducted over and over and the results are the same. Those plants which hear positive words or phrases do well, and those who hear negative and harmful things suffer and wilt. What is even more interesting is a furthering of the experiment where the “control” plant was not spoken to, versus either positive or negative words. Interestingly enough, this “control” plant became the “neglected” plant, and thus did worse than the plant spoken to negatively. If put in the context of our kids, we of course do not want to encourage saying negative, hurtful things to our children. However, in this case neglect is the most painful and harmful of all.
A similar experiment was conducted by Dr. Masuro Emoto on the effects our words have on water. Again, this seemed like “pseudoscience” at first glance, but have a closer look at the results. When the words are spoken, and then the water is flash frozen, the proof is in the ice. The positive words formed into beautiful crystals, while the hurtful things look malformed and uneven. In the beginning, Genesis says that there was nothing but God, and He used water, and then spoke. It was through God’s Word that everything came into being, so it does not seem too far a stretch to say that we, God’s most prized creations have a God-given power and significance to our words. Have a look at the picture and video, and see what you think for yourself.
A similar experiment was conducted by Dr. Masuro Emoto on the effects our words have on water. Again, this seemed like “pseudoscience” at first glance, but have a closer look at the results. When the words are spoken, and then the water is flash frozen, the proof is in the ice. The positive words formed into beautiful crystals, while the hurtful things look malformed and uneven. In the beginning, Genesis says that there was nothing but God, and He used water, and then spoke. It was through God’s Word that everything came into being, so it does not seem too far a stretch to say that we, God’s most prized creations have a God-given power and significance to our words. Have a look at the picture and video, and see what you think for yourself.
Speaking Positively to Ourselves
“I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough.” This statement is true of so many of our students. In a culture of constant comparison, it is impossible to go through a day without looking at others in envy because they have it all together. Did I say that our students struggle with this? Because even as an adult, I do too. I look at my colleagues and other parents and my internal monologue speaks loud and clear about my shortcomings. This song powerfully silences those negative thoughts and points me back to the words of the only One who speaks the absolute truth about me because I’m His fearfully and wonderfully made creation. “You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing. You say I am strong when I think I am weak. You say I am held when I am falling short. When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours.” I hope it uplifts you and your family as you seek His truth about you.
Speaking Positively to Each Other
This past Monday, Prince of Peace was again blessed to welcome speaker Keith Davis to our Middle School students for a follow up address on the important topic of the Power of Our Words. This time Keith brought with him Germard Reed, a friend, colleague, and former NCAA Champion football player who has known the pain and the power of others’ words and influence in his life. Keith and Germard shared a powerful message on how we can “lift and push up” others, rather than tear them down with hurtful words. The brought up the importance of equality not only as people, but as God’s children and precious creations. Keith and Germard challenged our Middle School students to rise above the standard of their generation and “Be the change.” Keith and Germard shared through personal stories and interactive examples the “Significance” of words in our lives, and tasked our students to be more than a great student, athlete, etc. “Be Significant, because you are.” We hope Keith and Germard’s words bring you encouragement as well. YOU are Significant, and your impact on the people in your life and around you is great and deserves yours and others’ attention. So how are you using your Significance?
Speaking Positively to Our Kids
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This article by Samantha Foley speaks loudly to me as a teacher, counselor, and parent. While the title says “Toddlers” please know that parents with kids of all ages benefit from her advice about getting your kids to behave the way that you want them to behave. After all, don’t many kids (and adults) throw toddler-like tantrums sometimes? Foley’s advice that works really with my own daughter is to give her choices about what she can do instead of continually talking about the behavior that I’d like her to stop. No, she may not jump on the couch, but she can build a pillow fort or ride her wagon instead. No, she cannot have a third cup of raisins (because mommy doesn’t like raisin diapers), but she can have crackers or cheese instead. Another tip from Foley I’ve been practicing is telling my daughter “do” instead of “don’t.” Instead of “Don’t hit the dog in the face with your snack cup” (a frequent urge in our house), I’m trying out, “Can you pet the puppy gently? Put your cup down so you can pet him gently.” Charli is catching on, and the dogs have been thankful too. I hope her other tips help you in your conversations with your toddlers (and sometimes toddler-like children).
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Talking with Toddlers:
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Speaking Positively through Parenting
“Mrs. Dwyer, my mom wants to know why my assignment is missing.” “Mrs. Dwyer, my dad was wondering what we’re going to do in class while I’m gone Friday.” “Mrs. Dwyer, my parents were confused about the book report assignment.” These are actual statements from students over the years, and I don’t write them to embarrass anyone, but to illustrate an important point that as parents, sometimes we find ourselves doing what Julie Lythcott labels as “over-parenting.” Is it wrong to be involved in your child’s school work? Absolutely not. The problem lies in the fact that these students communicated their parents’ concerns about their school work at the expense of caring about the work for themselves. I hear you objecting, “But Mrs. Dwyer, if I don’t care, they won’t care!” How do we find the balance? How do we both motivate our kids and let them learn to motivate themselves? This Ted Talk sheds light on how to speak to and interact with our children in a way that helps them learn how to be intrinsically driven, independent thinkers.
Hello Eagles!
We wanted to reach out as we have been tracking the latest viral “danger” called the “Momo Challenge” as it exploded back into the media scene last week. With this Special Edition of the Eagle Counseling Newsletter, we would like to break down the information into what we feel might be helpful for families. Below is a link to a news article being posted and shared by several local police departments and news media outlets. (NOTE: This video is not recommended for children as it shows the disturbing photo of “Momo” which is actually a statue from a Japanese Horror-Film Festival. Someone snapped a photo of it and started the “Momo Challenge.”)
We wanted to reach out as we have been tracking the latest viral “danger” called the “Momo Challenge” as it exploded back into the media scene last week. With this Special Edition of the Eagle Counseling Newsletter, we would like to break down the information into what we feel might be helpful for families. Below is a link to a news article being posted and shared by several local police departments and news media outlets. (NOTE: This video is not recommended for children as it shows the disturbing photo of “Momo” which is actually a statue from a Japanese Horror-Film Festival. Someone snapped a photo of it and started the “Momo Challenge.”)
Students are also talking and asking about it, so we wanted to address social media use in general in a way which opens communication between students and their families. While we do not wish to add to the intrigue and myth of this or other “challenges,” we also know it is already circulating and desire to aid parents and students in filtering such information. Here is a great article to help parents guide their kids in avoiding, sharing, and discussing such things since they will inevitably continue to pop up as they have in the past like the Blue Whale Challenge, Slenderman, and others.
We also wanted to include in this issue a couple of great posts from our friend KL Greer who spoke previously at POPCS about online safety. In one video, she shares a very important strategy, “I tell my kids they will never ever be in trouble for telling me about something they have seen or heard on the internet.” This is a challenge, but she has a point. In order to foster conversation, trust, and openness with our children, we must also provide a space they can feel safe to share their thoughts, feelings, and worries without fear of parents reacting versus responding, yelling, or freaking out. We may feel all of those things, but our reactions may come at the price of our kids sharing things with us. It can be a conversation rather than an interrogation.
Regardless of what the next internet buzz is, this is yet another opportunity for us to encourage you as parents to talk with your students, the little ones all the way up to the big ones, about their online activity and how to be safe while still utilizing technology. You must know what your kids are doing and seeing online as the world will not provide a filter for them. We do not need to panic at every “challenge” that comes our way, but we do need our children to feel able to share what they are seeing and doing. This ties in with the article “Why Social Media is Not Smart for Middle School Kids” by Victoria L. Dunckley, M.D. we included last month in Eagle Counseling Newsletter Issue 4: Building Healthy Relationships which you can view here.
We hope this information sparks some good conversations in your homes, and we pray God’s blessings on your week!
We hope this information sparks some good conversations in your homes, and we pray God’s blessings on your week!
